he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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