It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Can I color on your dick again?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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