god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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