she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
