If i come over, it means nothing
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
