we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
