ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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