hotel room ftw
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
