Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It was confusing and full of hummus
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
