why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
