She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
