there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
