i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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