theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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