I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
