dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
