"it" just moved
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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