Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.

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  (908): I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me. http://tfl.nu/bgr1
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer

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  (734): Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer http://tfl.nu/g808
  Replies (14) Good night (651) Bad night (3096) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them

  (514): View more from Quebec

  the remaining ten - you weren't in

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  (514): i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them (514): the remaining ten - you weren't in http://tfl.nu/19lj
  Replies (32) Good night (4867) Bad night (529)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule

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  (512): got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule http://tfl.nu/94hw
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now

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  (902): i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now http://tfl.nu/uxyj
  Replies (5) Good night (705) Bad night (3301) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now

  (1-805): View more from California

  he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls

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  (805): omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now (1-805): he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls http://tfl.nu/00r7
  Replies (82) Good night (4786) Bad night (1125)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

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  (843): I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter. http://tfl.nu/3aqn
  Replies (6) Good night (2653) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?

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  (508): Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"? http://tfl.nu/9ial
  Replies (29) Good night (901) Bad night (2793) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.

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  (419): Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/o1pz
  Replies (12) Good night (1251) Bad night (2540) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada

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  (716): Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada http://tfl.nu/glbq
  Replies (9) Good night (2294) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away

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  (520): Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away http://tfl.nu/885d
  Replies (1) Good night (1382) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex

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  (732): he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex http://tfl.nu/opy4
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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  (860): Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum (1-860): I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good http://tfl.nu/bjb1
  Replies (7) Good night (786) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.

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  (413): Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like. http://tfl.nu/c9vg
  Replies (8) Good night (299) Bad night (1388) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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  (775): FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left http://tfl.nu/965v
  Replies (7) Good night (250) Bad night (944)

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