she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!