You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA