Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
