My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
