im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
