That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
