His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize