just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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