There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
