quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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