New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
