uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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