okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
