so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
