One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
