So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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