I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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