Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
