When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They took my balls.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
