I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
