I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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