whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize