So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
