tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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