so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
