A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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