i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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