if you like me you must not know who I am
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Panties = found
Randomize
