her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
