I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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