The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
