508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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