Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
