apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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