She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
