that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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