i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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