yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
