You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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