I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
