Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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