Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
