yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
