apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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