i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The adults are the big ones right?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
