Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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