Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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