so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
