Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
